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You obviously don’t give a fuck!! You piss me off with your shit your going to “quit” fuck that!!! Obviously not. It’s your fucking life take me and leave that lifestyle Or take that piece of shit shove up your ass and leave me!!!!! I’m so fucking done with this bullshit!!

Who am I?? I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t know who I am ever since I moved in with him. . It’s me though nothing to do with him. . Is it always me???? That’s the way it seems. . So maybe it’s true, . I’ve had a crazy past couple of months living here. . I used to be a happy girl always never letting things getting to me. . But this,this is tough it. Always stops me! Geez and yes it is the same thing as always… I swear it will never get out of my life… .GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!!! Weed!!!!! I hate you!! You ruined my life!!! You stress me out I have issues with him because of you!!

I’ve been so stressed out lately UGH! I hate being alone I over think to much and worry to much when I’m alone I have huge anxiety!! Maybe that’s my problem my anxiety is WAY to high…

Venting

So I know I haven’t wrote in a while and I know that what I post is pretty much all venting but this technique works (sometimes).

HURT!!

WERE OPPOSITES!! me and you. . I was grown up to not do you”bad” things , to not disrespect my family or anyone in general, to hold my thoughts to myself. . You idk how you were raised but its not like i was. . I was grown not to smoke anything smoking can kill me. .i dont wanna die!! My family never drank around anyone so therefore i dont drink. . I was never introduced to drugs they never talked to me about any of that stuff. So therefore i dont do it or want to…they never had the sex talk with me just school did. . I was a sheltered child… They kept me away from the “bad” stuff. . Ya ima goody good. . Thats me though. Its how i was raised! If i ever did something bad i was hit with the belt. . Its scared the living crap outta me. . I know Im a big girl now but those seem like nightmares that will always haunt me forever. . Why do you think Im always nice. . Or quite… . Its cuz Im scared! why do you think i listen to them and not disrespect them… Im just a lost soul. . Its the reason why i cry alot. . My soul is lost. . And shall remain forever lost till i find true happiness. . Idk if i ever will

Im sorry that i feel the way i do about it. . I just do Theres nothing Im going to change about that feeling. nothing at all. . Im not going to put myself in a uncomfortable place. . And thats where i feel most uncomfortable!!! If your not smoking around me or high around me then then i dont care. It just hurts me to see someone that i love like that!! Oh i hate it,oh how i wish it didnt/doesnt exist. you will never know how i feel about it. NEVER!! its pretty much the only thing stopping me from moving in here. i hate it,i do. i wish it never in my life again. but we all know it will be because of you!!

This guy!! Hes the most greatest and pain in my life. . He makes me happy like no other! I wanna be woth him for the rest of my life. . I dont want to live without. . Even when Im mad at him for everything Im still happy. . I love him with all my heart. .  one year has gone by.  one of the greatest years EVER!!  Hes my sunshine on thunder and lightning rainy days…

This guy!! Hes the most greatest and pain in my life. . He makes me happy like no other! I wanna be woth him for the rest of my life. . I dont want to live without. . Even when Im mad at him for everything Im still happy. . I love him with all my heart. . one year has gone by. one of the greatest years EVER!! Hes my sunshine on thunder and lightning rainy days…

God gave us…..

Two hands to hold
Two eyes to see
Two ears to listen
Two legs to walk
Two lungs to breathe
But why only one heart?


The other was given to someone else
For us to find.

feeling better

I feel so much better now then the last time i wrote. . We talked about it . . I cant stand it and you know it. . But a week has gone by and from the times that we’ve hung out we haven’t talked about it not alot . .i dont like talking to you about i want nothing to do with it. . I love you for you and not the thing that makes me upset. . For you your soul just you! It makes me happiest when Im with you. . Your my sunshine. . I see brittany get upset over Jesse see that if we were to ever break up or leave each other i would be that way i never wanna feel like that EVER!! I miss you right now. . But then again i always miss you. . Theres a quote out there say “god gave us two lungs so we can breath two eyes so we can see two arms so we can feel two legs so we can walk two ears so we can hear, but one heart because you have my other heart!” idk it goes something like that Haha. Your my heart . . No you are my heart. . Without you ill never be able to live. . I thankful for brittany on inducing us ya didnt like from the start but i absolutely love now

Im done!!

Im angry and Im pissed at you!! I tired tell you everything on my mind but you were gone! I hate you right now. .i hate everything about you!! You dont care. You dont show you care. . Brittany tells me otherwise but i dont believe her… I hate you for everything you do. . .i hate your roommate for everything Hes changed about you… I want nothing to do with you. . I want the old you back before your roommate came and changed EVERYTHING about you!! I miss you. . The real you!!!!!! Im losing this fight between me and a object!! An object geez … how worth it can it be if you decided to choose it over me!!!! Oh how i hate you over this. . Its biggest fight. . Or me fight ive had… Im on the border of something amazing or nothing at all. . I dont know which one to choose. . Thats all up to you!! Your an asswhole,a jerk,a pain in the ass, but mostly a asswhole for everything… . .i was happy until April came around and thats when everything went down town!! Who knows if it’ll ever come back to town square . . I hope so i want to be that happy again. . But Im not. . Not now!!

You!!

Wow well what can i say about you. . Hmm. . Well we first met when i went camping with my best friend because of her there wouldnt be us. . Anyways we went camping you and your two best friends were trying to hook me up with one of them. . You claim that you liked me then too but never showed it. . But then again my best friend had a huge crush on you so i wouldnt have done anything then… I went out with one of your best friends for about 2 months after that was over a few months passed and we saw each other one again but then again i was with my friend it was her prom i was her date. Haha. . You had a date then. . And still claimed you were flirting. Still wasnt going to do anything then either. . After prom we all went to someones party. You went but didnt have your date then. .during the party me you and your friend left to walmart. .i forgot my shoes so i was barefoot. . You lended me your shoes so i wasnt barefoot. Thanks for that. . A couple of weeks passed and we saw each other again at my friends graduation party. .i went with my family and my moms boyfriend at the time said. . Hey is that your next boyfriend. . So i turned at you and just smiled. But i never said anything. . We were defendantly flirting then. . A few months after that my friend got bored with you and another friend and called me up to go to the casino… That was one of the best days. .the friend told my that you had a huge crush on me and i did too. . The next day we hung out then too. . We had our first kiss that day on the pier. . And we watched a movie after the movie you asked me to be your girlfriend… I sit here at work thinking about those times. . 11 1/2 months later. .best relationship ever!! You make me so happy and i would love to spend the rest of the time we have together. . .i love you soooooooooooooooooooooiiioooiooooo much answer always will. .